Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
