I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
