It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
