Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
