he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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