Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
