She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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