I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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