Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize