My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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