Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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