Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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