Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
