If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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