My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
operation harelip BJ is a go
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
