Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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