WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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