you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
