I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
