Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
ttyl tear gas
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
