i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have fence marks all over my body
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
