I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We had to coat check the pizza.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
