so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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