Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
