Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
