If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize