Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
