Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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