My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
