2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
