Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
