Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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