Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
