I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
