Me too!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
