I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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