so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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