i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize