check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
