Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Mom said you looked used
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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