I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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