i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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