Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
this is an emotional support booty call
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
