you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
