So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
