I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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