I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
