It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
