After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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