ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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