i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
