Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
