if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
