How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize