Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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