she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
