I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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