just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
