Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize