Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just invented taco cereal.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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